Him…

I always need to blog about him, what’s happening with him, with us. 

Well everything is okay now, I guess. Anjo and I are okay already, his friends are out of our lives. Not completely but almost. I’m just so relieved that he’s on my side this time (I hope he can stick to every word he said) and he’s not friends with those bad-influence friends of his. I love him and I do want him to be happy but those friends of his just had to go. They were making the relationship suffer. He has other friends, decent guy friends at least. I just hate how everything turned out.. our family’s status getting involved in this fight, mom being stressed on her birthday, Anjo losing friends he’s hung out with forever. But you know, things happen for a reason and karma exists.

Ah, I was looking forward to school but everything is ruined now. I’m asking mom for a bodyguard, technically. It’s not that i’m scared.. it’s just that I need protection from well.. them. Drew isn’t transferring schools. Steph won’t be going to our school anymore. Hopes are down. The only thing i’m looking forward to this year is.. oh wait. NOTHING. 

I don’t’ want summer to end because I get to spend so much time with Anjo. And when school starts he’ll probably bring me lunch but not all the time. I’m only going to be able to see him on Saturdays again. Unpleasant teachers, chemistry, geometry. Here comes one hell of a school year. But then again, karma’s out looking for the people trying to destroy me. Karma’s out to get them. They better watch out. 

I keep a lot of things to myself, but it’s for the best though.

I’m not a bitch until you give me a reason to be..

I’ve been getting called a bitch quite often by these other bitches so yeah. 

Happy Birthday, self (looong post!)

So it was my birthday yesterday.. I didn’t even feel like it was my birthday at all. And so many important people I expected would greet me didn’t so i’m pretty disappointed but it’s okay because I got to spend my birthday with my family. I’m definitely blessed that I got to celebrate it with my family. 

I slept really late on the morning of my birthday, about 3am or something like that but I woke up a little early though, around 9. After breakfast, I went next door to see my cousins. We were called to lunch already because we were supposedly checking in at the country club at 2pm. When we checked in we were supposed to swim already, and I didn’t want to eat any lunch because my stomach was going to look all bloat-y and fat so I just ate a slice of my super pretty birthday cake (my aunt made it in just a few hours btw!).

I couldn’t stop taking pictures of it because it was such a pretty cake and it tasted so effing good, too. 

Had my tongue pierced! Lol joke, I convinced so many people with this photo when it’s actually just pearl candy from my cake. 

We checked in a little late at the hotel, probably around 2 or 3pm then we were disappointed because it started drizzling and there were more than a few people at the pool plus these really snobby girls. So my cousins  and I went back to the the room first and were really bored because we had nothing to do back in the room, we were planning to go to CJH for Starbucks or something because it was near us but it stopped drizzling and we went down to the pool. I didn’t want to swim because Anjo and his cousin, David were there and I felt really fat. No, I am really fat, it’s not even funny. I have to start working out everyday before school starts. So my little cousin and sister swam in the main pool but I didn’t want to because BCC has a rule with swim caps now because of their damn filters so my cousins Icx and Bel and I stayed in the jacuzzi.

We got out a little later and then took a bath in the room. I got dressed for dinner which was my real celebration. I didn’t take any photos during swim time or dinner which sucks but it was really fun. David, Anjo and I sat with my cousins at a separate table. I think Anjo has this really crappy photo of me holding my fish fillet burger. 

David left after dinner. I saw my old classmate and his family and they greeted me a happy birthday then Anjo went up with me to the room. We fought a little and made up then we FaceTime-d with my cousin Qwe, his name is pronounced like the letter itself, Q. My cousins and I had coffee so we couldn’t sleep. 

Qwe played a song from a video game on the piano. Yay Qwe~

Qwe with the horse head!

They went across the street to a Filipino store that sold food and he was later eating this halo halo bar. 

It was so much fun talking because we played this song game, we tried playing 20 Questions but failed, we watched funny videos and toured the hotel room and their condo. Bel slept earlier than us, but Icx stayed up ‘til 2:30am. We got off FaceTime when Icx got sleepy but Qwe and I Facebook messaged and I only got 2 hours of sleep. I slept at 3 and got up at 5 and I was damn hungry. So I had dollar pancakes for breakfast.

We swam after breakfast but only for a short while because swimming lessons were going on and the pool was packed with members and non-members alike. We went back up to the room, played bowling (I won the first round yay!) and then we went home already. I had a blast with my family. <3 

Thanks to my followers who actually remembered to greet me! You guys are awesome. 

Sometimes i’m so self-centered..

I’d like to get some sort of incurable disease and just die, silently, without anybody but my family knowing. I’d like to see who the real people are. Those who’ll miss me, those who’ll forgive me, those who’ll mourn for me and long for me. Those who will regret not getting to make time for me. Those who’ll regret ever hurting me. I don’t know who cares enough anymore, honestly. Sometimes I want to fucking evaporate and get away from the world. I’m honestly going through so much bullshit that’s why it seems like i’m so mad at the world. It’s not even funny. 

Best friend.

I guess what they say is true, that it’s in high school when you learn who your real friends are. In elementary I had a big group of friends, but when it came to high school it wasn’t really much of a group anymore, we drifted apart because we went to different schools already. Some barely kept in touch, some came back to our old school.. but there was only one friend who stuck with me through everything. That’s Nicole. 

Nicole and I weren’t very close in our elementary years.. we only became close during our 6th grade recollection and grad practices. But even after graduating we still remained friends. She’s my best friend because she knows me, better than anyone else. She accepts me and I feel comfortable with telling her everything because I know I won’t get judged. She’s my role model as well because she can act so calm despite all the pressure she’s been through, all the people trying to put her down.. she can control herself. Unlike me, that’s why she doesn’t get into fights. THAT is class. 

These days I don’t really know who my real friends are anymore, but I know she is. She has always been. There have been times when we were busy, or we fought.. but we were still always there for each other. It’s rare to find a friend like her so I do thank the Lord for someone like Nicole. And Colee, if you’re reading this, I’ve blogged about you a lot of times already just to tell people of how blessed I am to have you. We may not always get to see each other, go out for a long time, or talk at school everyday, but just getting a text or a chat from you is enough to make me know you care. I love you, Colee! <3 

I’m not going to be one of those girls who are like.. “But you know, I don’t give a flying fuck.” Because I do give a damn. I do, I hate how she’s calling me a bitch when it’s not necessary to. I hate how she says she’s not going to “stoop down to some bitch’s level” when she’s below, just look at how she reacts. I hate how i’m the one at fault again and she tells me to shut up when she doesn’t know what the fuck i’m going through because of her. YOU shut up. 

Maybe you should try and eat make up so you can be pretty on the inside, bitch.

I just need to blog about this.

See, I’ve told you guys about my former friend who i’m kind of at war with at the moment. I recall her Tweeting “never stoop down to some bitch’s level #lifelessons” and then she Tweets like a few hours ago, “you know what? you’re an overprotective BITCH. last time i checked, i never did anything to you, so please just shut up. =)” And I was like THAT IS STOOPING DOWN. So I messaged her and said..

Hey I recall you Tweeting about not stooping down to “some bitch’s” level, but that’s kind of what you’re doing saying “you know what? you’re an overprotective BITCH. last time i checked, i never did anything to you, so please just shut up. ” Yeah i’m overprotective. You don’t know what i’m going through so YOU shut up. Thanks. Take care.
And sorry I messaged you before, I was really pissed that night.
Oh and also.. i’m not stupid. I don’t get MAD for no reason.

I hate how i’m becoming so unclassy and bitchy but I have no way to defend myself. I hate who i’m becoming and I hate who she’s become. And there’s also a Tweet she retweeted saying “Panget ka na, panget pa loob mo. Nilahat mo na.” Yeah, you’re pretty but your attitude is not. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

I wasn’t normally the type to say mushy stuff about my mom but I feel like she deserves it, she deserves a post on my blog dedicated to her because even if it is cliche, she’s the best mom in the world. 

Because of my relationship with Anjo, my mom and I got closer. It almost seems like we’re best friends too because I can tell my mom anything and she’ll give me pieces of advice and also help me and Anjo mend our relationships and stop fighting. My mom is a single parent, but she’s raised my sister and I all by herself. She works hard for us. She has provided us with all of our needs and also our wants. She has been paying for my tuition for 10 years now, as well as my sister’s for 7 years already. She’s done so many things for us. My mom has also accepted Anjo as family already and treats him like her own son. It’s rare to find a mom like that who accepts your boyfriend, also because she’s like a mom in dad in a mom’s body. Also, my mom wasn’t very much into dogs until we got Muffin, our almost 5-year-old Shih Tzu and takes care of him and bathes him even if that’s our job. 

Basically, my mom is the most hard-working person ever. She works as our building’s administrator but gets no special treatment even if it’s a family company and her boss is her own dad. My mom is not perfect, she’s easily mad, she doesn’t let me go out often etc. We don’t get along sometimes but that’s okay because I owe her more than my life. I love you mommy. Always have and always will. <3

The picture below is funny because she didn’t think i’d post it on my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and other blog but I did. So here..